Everything I knew about my grandparents came from the stories shared by my parents and a couple of aunts. Oh, I have memories of time spent with them as a child. Easter dinners, visits to the nursing home, annual get togethers at Christmas. However, I knew nothing of who they were until I started interviewing my parents for Five O’Clock Kiss. I had memories, but no life stories. I’d spent my childhood and early adult life being in my grandparents’ presence, but never really present with them.
That disappointing lapse of attentiveness and consideration was really brought home recently while reading How to Write Compelling Stories from Family History. Annette Gendler, the author, provided frequent writing prompts. One of them was “write down one story a grandparent told you from his or her life”. I couldn’t think of a single one.
I suppose my lack of engagement with the grandparents while growing up isn’t unusual. That is the time frame, it seems, when the sun shifts out of orbit and revolves around the child and young adult. Now in my sixth decade of life, with grandparents gone and the threat ever present of my parents’ generation passing, I appreciate the magnitude of that loss. Perhaps there’s even a touch of remorse. Not only have I lost a great opportunity to have gotten to know my grandparents, but I guess I also fear my own life story coming to naught.
Unless….
I wonder how my grandchildren, who all live out of state, would feel if each of them got a letter telling them a story from my childhood? Maybe an embarrassing incident, a funny episode, or a revelatory moment. Letters in the mail are such an uncommon thing, but I think still special to the recipient. If the grandchild chooses to keep the letter, *VOILA,* instant written history. And if the letter gets lost amid bedroom clutter and eventually trashed, my grandchild still gets to know me just a little bit better. All the more if that one letter results in a pen pal relationship.
I’ll keep you apprised of my progress on this. In the meantime, how will you – or do you – share your life story with others? I’d love to know.